Slough

Walk Details:
Date: 29/9/2004
Total ascent: 1m
Total distance walked: 0.02 miles
Walk difficulty: 0/10
Enjoyment rating: 0.5/10 (but only through the irony of the dog poo bin at the "peak")
Best bits: errrm… a dog poo bin?! I guess it was at least grass rather than tarmac.
Worst bits: The traffic lights, the terrible sense of anticlimax, the poor selection of crisps at the pub, dozens of cars arriving just as I was trying to leave

Top details:
Name: Farnham Lane
Number: 7 of 207
Grid reference: SU 95456 83034 MAP
Height above sea level: 51m, 167ft
How nice was it?: 0/10
Description/Notes: Highest point in Slough Unitary Authority.

The Walk:

Our final after-work top, due to (a) failing autumnal light and (b) we've run out of ones close enough to Reading. Once again Justin was absent.

It's the sort of top that tests the commitment of the most determined bagger. First of all, the traffic lights. There must be about thirty sets on the A355 through Slough and we were stopped by EVERY single set. And lets face it, Slough isn't the sort of place you want to stop in (unless you enjoy the unparallelled views of run-down warehousing and louts in souped-up cars). I wasn't surprised to hear this morning that it was voted the seventh worst place in Britain in a "Crap Towns" survey.

Still, eventually we made it through, and came to the "top". We had been planning to park at the Crown pub (about half a mile up Crown Lane) and try to create a circular walk, but instead parked next to the top. The roads between the pub and top were too busy and had no pavement, there was virtually no climb whatsoever, and having already seen the top from the car we decided it was too poor to justify a walk.

The boundary between Slough and Buckinghamshire runs down the middle of Farnham Lane, and the contrast between the two is quite dramatic - on the Slough side lies low grade, grubby suburbia, while the Buckinghamshire side is leafy and green. The Slough top itself lies on the grass verge to the south of Farnham Lane, and was surmounted by a dog poo bin, which seemed an appropriate symbol for the whole ghastly town. If anyone asks me in future "what's the high point of a trip to Slough?" I can answer truthfully and with a grim smile: "a dog poo bin".

So, job done, we headed into Buckinghamshire and to the Crown pub. I'm pleased to report that it's a delightful establishment - rustic décor, open fires, an interesting "dinner specials" board and a front door which was a little tricky to open. Unfortunately some Sloughness seemed to have seeped over the border - they only had crisps in flavours I hated (they didn't even have ready salted - can you believe that?). Also, when I tried to leave, a sudden torrent of cars pured into the car park, stopping each other parking and stopping me getting out!

Slough's a bad place. The top is rubbish. Don't go there.